You used to be a special place
for all my college friends.
A sanctuary in cyberspace,
but every love story ends.
(Facebooooookâ¦..)
Whyâd you have to go and lose
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You used to be a special place
for all my college friends.
A sanctuary in cyberspace,
but every love story ends.
(Facebooooookâ¦..)
Whyâd you have to go and lose
your exclusivity?
Now all my nightmares have come trueâ¦
my mom just friended me!
Since she joined she spends all her time
checking my news feed.
My interests are no longer
bubble butts and sticky weed.
She whacked my ass on Mafia Wars
and Flixtered âYouâve Got Mail.â
She washed the colors with the whites
and posted âlaundry failâ (âcause now)â¦
CHORUS
My momâs on Facebook.
She found a new way to nag me.
My momâs on Facebook.
Comments whenever friends tag me.
My momâs on Facebook.
She only got it to stalk me.
My momâs on Facebook.
My childhood photos cock-block me.
My wall is not for e-mail, mom,
youâll never get it right.
And gifting me some sexy lips
donât mean a kiss goodnight.
She keeps on adding all my friends,
they just think sheâs a jokeâ¦
except for Steve who says that sheâs
a mom heâd like to poke. (Sheâs a M.I.L.P.!)
Mama read my 25 Things
and each and every note.
Now she knows I lost a bet
and had to wax my scrote.
Suggests new pages every day
from âhugsâ to âWill and Grace.â
Itâs getting to the point Iâll have to
switch back to MySpace. (But not really!)
Wrote in my status,
âboss is keeping me at work.â
Mom responded, ânow I see
why you told me heâs a jerk.â
My boss saw it and fired me
and momâs the reason why.
Now Iâm starving and Iâm lonely
and Iâm probably gonna die⦠(because)
CHORUS
My momâs on Facebook.
Now Iâve gotta watch every word.
My momâs on Facebook.
Oooh, goddamn you, Mark Zuckerburg.
My momâs on Facebook.
Posted a public reminderâ¦
My momâs on Facebook.
â¦that I came out her vagina!
My momâs on Facebook.
Invited me to my cousinâs communion.
My momâs on Facebook.
Itâs like a family reunion.
My momâs on Facebook.
Iâm trying not to be bitterâ¦
My momâs on Facebook.
â¦but she just found me on Twitter!
My mom, your mom, his mom, Steveâs mom⦠all moms!
Theyâre all on Facebook.
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